This week at school is Dr. Seuss week and today is dress for what you want to be when you grow up. Garrett said he wants to be a business man so we put him in his suit. I think he is so darn cute!!
Mar 22 - Listened to church online this morning but I'm feeling more anxious than ever. Tim is never usually worried but he is worried with this. I'm seeing so many posts on Facebook of nurses not having the correct PPE that they need. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm sleeping maybe 2-3 hours at night. Praying that God helps us through this!! Thankfully I have Garrett to keep me in check. Had fun making funny faces with the camera today.
Teresa also purchased some paint masks in case they do run out of PPE at the hospital they work at. She purchased 2, one for her and one for Tim. Thankful to have these, just in case......
Garrett had to try on after Tim and this will be the last time as Tim will take it into work and keep in his locker until he needs.
Another outside day. I copied this from Facebook today. I really needed to hear this message. I've somehow forgotten that God holds it all and already knows the outcome so why I am I worrying about it? It's not like I can control it so today I let it go and gave it to God. I'm probably going to have to do it a couple more times....
Me: Okay, God, here's the thing. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am.
God: I know. Want to talk about it?
Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know.
God: Let's talk about it anyway... We've done this before.
Me: I know, I just feel like I should be bigger or stronger of something by now.
God: *waiting patiently, unhurried, undistracted, never annoyed.
Me: Okay. So, I'm afraid I'll do everything I can to protect my family and it won't be enough. I'm afraid of someone I love dying. I'm afraid the world won't go back to what it was before. I'm afraid my life is always going to feel a little bit unsettled.
God: Anything else?
Me: EVERYTHING ELSE.
God: Remember how your son woke up the other night and came running down the hall to your bedroom?
God: You were still awake, so when you heard him running, you started calling out to him before he even got to you... remember? Do you remember what you called out to him?
Me: I said, "You're okay! You're okay! You're okay! I'm here."
God: Why did you call to him? Why didn't you just wait for him to get to your room?
Me: Because I wanted him to know that I was awake, and I heard him, and he didn't have to be afraid until he reached the end of the dark hallway.
God: Exactly. I hear you, my child. I hear your thoughts racing like feet down the dark hallway. There's an other side to all of this. I'm there already. I've seen the end of it. And I want you to know right here as you walk through it all, you're okay. I haven't gone to sleep, and I won't.
Me: *crying. Can we sit together awhile? Can we just sit here a minute before I go back to facing it all?
God: There's nothing I'd love more.
Today we also found out that Garrett's school has been cancelled for the remainder of the school year. We've been trying to find out if the hospital Tim is working at is going to start giving crisis pay or not. There was also another position in Polson, MT that I sent his information over for. We are praying about it and leaving it in God's hands.
Garrett spent the morning doing backflips...
What having a boy looks like.....